God's Promise ♥

So, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe, that you have received it, & it will be yours. 

-Mark 11:24

Like She Had Been All Her Life

She's been listening to the rock songs again,
Like she had been all her life.

Every beat the drums made
Every string the guitars strummed
Every loud chorus she had heard
Solace, sweet solace, was what she found.

She drowned herself
on the depths of her thoughts
on the musical notes
made perceivable by the senses
through a piece of technology
that comes with a plug in the ears
probably, to make sure no sound from the outside world
would come seeping.
And hurt her again.

The good part about rock music
was that it was noise
but it made justice to how people
would define noise
as if it is an unwelcome visitor.

The noise was comforting
because it made more sense;
it made more sense than all those words
spoken and sang by lovers
confounded by the promises of love
as if it is this enchanted feeling
when it is the complete opposite.

She felt numb, devoid of any feeling.
And that was all she needed.
The numbness, the noise,
the bitterness of a truth.

The truth that she was alone.
Like she had been all her life.

Desiderata

Just 2 years ago, when I was still in high school, our teacher gave us this prose poem for us to work on and reflect for our Values Education subject.

When I read the poem, I was in awe of it's accuracy. This literally explained everything this world and it's people are going through for generations to generations. It is like an instruction on how to handle life in the world. Although nothing compared to the Bible, but this one is shorter but nonetheless very compelling.

I'm really grateful that I came across this poem for it has truly inspired me in ways I cannot imagine.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Desiderata
(Latin for: Desired Things)
by M. Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
They are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle to yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars
and you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusions of life.
Keep peace within your soul;
with all it's sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------


There had been controversies as to who truly wrote this poem because, from what I understood, it was mysteriously found on Old Saint Paul's Church in Baltimore, MD during 1692. Because of this, it has been referred to as The Baltimore Prayer.

It became a phenomenon, because of it's construction and history, however, literary detectives went to work on Desiderata. Soon, it's true story was slowly revealed.

They found out that it was really written in 1927, by Max Ehrmann, a poet/author and lawyer graduate from Harvard's School of Philosophy.

But despite all this, many questions still remain. And if you are interested in learning about the history of Desiderata, you may want to be redirected here.

We Look For Love

Not because it sucks to watch movies alone, it's sad to eat meals on your own, or because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days.

We look for love because we want to be accepted: For the sloppy way we dress, for the clumsy way we eat, for those bad hair days, and for the simplicity in us.

Because love is an act of acceptance that despite of our imperfections, we are still loved.

On Favorite Songs and Whatnot

Part I: On Favorite Songs
Being the music-obsessed that I am, I don't really have a favorite song. For me, asking about what your favorite song is is like making a mother choose between her children - hard and it's just not morally right! L0L.

Instead I prefer it to be asked like this: If all the songs on my playlist were deleted, and only one song will be spared, then it's this song:


It Might Be You
by Stephen Bishop

Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life
Lying on the sand watching seabirds fly
Wishing there could be someone
Waiting home for me

Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you
All of my life

Looking back as lovers go walking past
All of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last 
If I found the place would I recognize the face

Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you
So many quiet walks to take
So many dreams to wake and there's so much love to make

I think we're gonna need some time
Maybe all we need is time
And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before 
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you and
I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life 

It's you, it's you I've been waiting for all of my life
Maybe it's you, Maybe it's you I've been waiting for all of my life.

The green colored texts are some of my favorite lines in this song. This song somewhat describes the state of my love life status at the moment. No, this song is not dedicated to anyone, yet. I haven't found anyone who's worthy to hear me say, "Maybe it's you I've been waiting for all of my life". And with how things are around this time of my life, I am pretty sure it will be a long time before I could finally say those words.


And because of that, I'd like to elaborate more on this line:

"I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before"

I feel like I have a lot to share to someone -- lullabies, quotes, stories, plans, lyics, songs, etc. And I just keep it inside me, waiting for the one who is deserving to hear them all. I have been saving all these things for him, whenever he comes. 

Part II: Whatnot
My dad introduced me to this song when I was little, along with other 80's classics that he used to play on our vcd-player every morning on school days when I prepare for school during my elementary years. And when I arrive home, every once in a while there would be karaoke at our neighborhood and my dad would be singing all good songs from the generation where music was genuine and good (60's, 70's, to early 90's). And I kinda grew up in that environment.

I love listening to music. And that is not just your typical cliche term some people use. I really love listening to music! I could be walking down the grocery aisle and a random song with good tune comes up, I'd quickly get my cellphone to type in parts of the lyrics of that unknown good song and search it up on the internet. I'm the type that loves good music and treasures it. I can't sleep without my earphones on. Well, I could sleep but it's just not the same if I listen to music. My ears are sensitive to music. I think it's a compromise because I wasn't blessed with good singing voice nor any talent in playing an instrument, considering the fact that I grew up with musically-inclined people. 

I am not the instrument player, not the singer, nor the dancer. I am the listener. I listen, I remember the melody, I feel them inside and let them take me elsewhere just like how books take me to places I might never be at in real life. I'm a spectator, a wallflower, a listener. I listen to what the melody in the music tells me, and I listen to the words I hear in my mind as I read what the author is trying to tell me. And I understand.

The title is not as nonsensical and naive as the entry itself

"I'm better off without anybody."


But the painful truth is that none of the above statement is true.

You want the truth? Here's the truth:

I'm dying to feel something that makes me feel alive, in a romantic sense, that is.
I want to be found.
I want that feeling that you belong to someone, and that someone belongs to you.
That feeling when someone will look for your face in a sea of people, and smile at it when you're in sight.
I want to be the recipient of love letters/notes written on fancy scented papers/post-its.
I want to experience the feeling of receiving a single flower picked from their Mum's garden, instead of a pricey bouquet from commercialized flower shops. (But I don't really care whichever, L0L)
Most especially, I want to hear mixtapes of songs that remind me of Us, complete with hand-drawn scribbles/doodles on the cover.
I want someone to dedicate a love song or a quote from a book, just because they want to share the happiness they get whenever they come across those things.
I want someone to hold my hand.
I want the security that someone out there love you, whether you know him already and just not have realized it, or your paths will soon cross someday.

^
The above is just an example of how to sophisticate, sugarcoat, and euphemize the statement: "I want a boyfriend".

Hot Summer Nights

I know my title could give you queer thoughts, but the adjective there pertains to the weather on a summer night, particularly this one I am experiencing right now.

Usually in the place where I'm at, the average day temperature for April-May would be 32 degrees Celsius. At night it would drop to a considerable 22 degrees C, the usual day temperature for the -ber months.

I am not talking about the weather just because there are no more things to talk about, but because the weather now is actually worth a blog entry. Err, I don't make proper sense, do I?

- oOo -

At night when I am waiting for me to fly off to dreamland, I would gaze up at the window screen. My bed is situated close to the wall where my window is, you see. I especially positioned it that way not only to have all the cool night breeze I want, but to gaze at the stars of the night sky and trying to find where Orion is as well, although it is almost always detectable. Othertimes I make up my own constellations, like how these bunch of stars could connect and make up what seems to be a Daisy for me. It is a great view, and I always thank God for me to experience little wonders like that. I just wished my part of the night sky isn't polluted by Light from the city just a mile or two away though.

But the night tonight is different. I expected to see my constellations, but all I saw where gray clouds. I could see patches of the dark-blue sky, but it is small enough to be appreciated. Also, the temperature was warmer than the previous cloudless nights.

Was it going to rain? I hope so. It's a good compromise from a starless-night.


- oOo -

I have been currently reading two books at the moment:

1.) A .pdf copy of David Levithan and Rachel Cohn's Dash and Lily's Book of Dares. I'm not yet halfway and from what I can see, it is a good book. I'm sure teenagers of 13-16 would love to read it. But I am way past beyond that age range. If only I could've read this earlier, I would have appreciated it more.

2.) The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein. It is a prelude to The Lord of The Rings epic trilogy. My bestfriend, Franz (Sis) lent me the book which was originally owned by her sister, Ate Georgia. I'm already about 9 chapters more till the end and all I can say is that it is truly a work of art. First time to read Tolkein's and it has delighted me.The only thing I regret though is that I wish I read the Trilogy first, as there have been side-notes and if-you-remember's in some parts of the story. I'm eager to finish the book and start reading The Fellowship of the Ring after. :D