Caffeine in the Afternoon

There is this tagalog song entitled Ingat Ka (translate: Take Care) by an OPM (Original Pinoy Music) band which I love, Silent Sanctuary.

I've been a fan of them since I was still in highschool and their songs remind me of past loves and whatnot.

On one of the lyrics of that song:

"Hinay-hinay lang sa kape, lalong-lalo na sa tanghali"

(Rough translation: Be careful in drinking coffee especially in the afternoon)

For years I have been singing that song mentally and that line still puzzled me. Could that really mean something? Or was it just there to add rhyme?

Until one afternoon, today exactly, I decided to make myself a 150mL amount of 3-in-1 coffee. I'm not much of a fan for coffee and other coffee-flavoured things in the past but it all changed when I had to resort to something that could keep me awake during those hellweeks of exams. And I just got used to its bittersweet taste and figured out why most people came to love it.

So my afternoon-coffee tasted so good as I watched commercials on tv.

After I consumed all of it till the last drop, I started scanning my notes for next week's discussion on Bioethics.
But about an hour after that, it all sank in to me. I felt the effects of caffeine -- in the afternoon, that is.

I suffered terrible headaches, and I mean terrible that I had to lie down and just hope it would go away. I started feeling palpitations, with slight hand tremors. Oh it was a horrifying experience!

To conclude this post, I have now understood what that specific line on that song meant. I just understood it the hard way, though.

Today is the first day of Summer Class. We had to take the subject Strategies of Health Education. It was the only afternoon class for today and we were dismissed early due to some reasons too nonsense to make it to this post. And because of that, we were assigned to make a sort of book report about any book we like and reflect it on how it changed us.

I thought this was an interesting assignment, and I cannot wait to start.

But as I thought about which book I should choose, I came to a pause...a very long pause. Harry Potter series? Bob Ong's? Pride and Prejudice? Oh deer. They are great works, sure, but they do not have any impact of my life as what our Clinical Instructor instructed us. I just read them for leisure's sake. The realization that I barely read any literature in my life at all is slowly seeping into me! And the thought of it is just horrifying.

I knew I had to choose one book. But which one will it be? Then I remembered, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. What better opportunity to read it than now? I have no choice but to strain my eyes over a cheap E-book version of it. And so I did.

So here's what my mind came up to (pardon the poor sentence construction/word choice):

--------------------------------------------------------------

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

“So, this is my life.  And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”

 "I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why."

The story revolves on Charlie and his first year in high school. Although he is not the popular type of guy or one of the geeks, he is a wallflower – a person who, because of shyness, unpopularity, or lack of a partner, remains at the side of a party or dance. They are those that observe almost everything and listen to everything you have to say without criticizing or judging. The story is told through a series of letters, the first one dated August 25, 1991 and the last is dated August 23, 1992. Each letter is addressed uniformly all though out – “Dear Friend” , whom Charlie does not know and has never met but looks up to as someone who has integrity thus worthy of being addressed to his letters.

The context of the story gave light on topics that seem, although some are not rampant in our culture setting, a problem that people in their teenage years experience. The rigors of school, of peer pressure, and of establishing a sense of identity. The more I got to know more about his life and everyone that are involved in it as he writes the letters to “Friend”, I could see myself in Charlie’s character. At some point in my life (specifically when I was in first year high school), I see myself as a wallflower because I go by the principle that the more you speak your mind, the more chances people will find errors in you. So basically, I have been passively living my life, not on the dance floor but just a mere spectator.

But then I realized how wrong I was going about that principle, because it did not permitted me to grow and be a better person. I did not made any progress in any aspects of my life. Even though I did not do anything that is “wrong” to the eyes of the people surrounding me, I haven’t done anything that is “right” either! And the thing that surprises me is that their opinions were not the ones keeping me to hide inside myself, my fears of being criticized did. For a short time in my life I have been living in fear. And for what seemed like eternity, I thought I would never make that great realization and get out of my shell. Well I guess that it is an important part of growing up, to get to know yourself more. Most importantly, I learned that it is not enough to be alive, you need to live. 

Before Sunrise, Before Sunset

This summer break, I have been busy doing marathons on movies, that is, and I watched a lot of interesting ones, those that I have been wanting to watch but did not have the resources (time, dvd, links, etc). So this summer break has been a great opportunity to spend my time for those stuff. Thanks to my helpful 'friend', I got this amazing website that just supplies what I need.


The movies that I ticked off of the list are:

• The Proposal. (very hilariously heart-warming, and Ryan Reynolds is just so HOT!)
• Jumper. (pretty good concept, if someone asked me what superpower I'd like to have, then I'd pick this one fo sure. It's like apparating in a modern-not-a-wizarding-way way. lol)
• Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging. (too teenflicky -- I mean if I was 14, I'd probably would have liked this so much but then I had to watch it because everyone else was talking about it...and yeah, well Aaron Johnson was so freakin cute on this movie, and the British accents, oh boy I could listen to it all day!)
• The Gods Must Be Crazy. (the 1980's classic, omg I am just so thankful I have come across this movie..Philosophy + Clean humor, in one film, very very classic. One of my top faves of all time) 
• and a couple of episodes from House M.D. and Skins UK (just to catch up on what I've missed). 

But the one special movie that has caught up my interest was Before Sunrise (1995). I googled something about top movies of all times (Okay I know what you're thinkin' but well it was worth the shot), and this movie kept on appearing on all the lists I have seen on almost every article I've read. So I thought, I could watch the trailer and see if it really proves it's worth, because I wasn't convinced with the movie poster. Well I guess it's just like the way they say it when it comes to books, that you don't judge it by it's cover. It's kinda same with the movie and it's poster. Okay so much about the poster. LOL. I'll just talk about how this movie and it's sequel produced 9 years after, Before Sunset (2004) touched me inside that I didn't know any film could do.

The movies, I must fearlessly say, has been one of the BEST movies I have seen in my ENTIRE LIFE yet. And the caps are there to emphasize it. You can call me whatever you want basing on this post but I have never cried so hard because of a movie as I have been with this. Like literally, I have been like a total mess with all the tears. And I cried like a baby, by that I mean like I sobbed with sounds coming from my mouth uncontrollably. 

In my opinion, the movie and it's sequel are very underrated. But I think it is just perfect that it is that way because that is what makes it even more special…apart from the very witty conversations and how the actors are just so natural, Hawke and Delpy, and the European setting, and just EVERYTHING about the movie. It is like a treasure, like, it is meant to be hidden deep, only to be found to those who are eager to find it, or to have the 'map' or 'compass', I should say. Well those things could be anything to any person, but I guess for me, they were...the links from google. (Har de har har).

Anyhow going back, It is that kind of movie that you cannot get over with for a couple of days, and when you do, there is always that part of your consciousness that reminds you about how everything went..the scenes, the conversation, the feeling and the mood. It is as if you are a part of the movie. And I think that every great movie should be like that. Like, the viewers should not be a viewer only, he/she should be part of the scene. There should be a connection between the characters and the audience. And as for me, I felt connected to the characters, and the emotions they are portraying through their lines and stuff they do on screen. It was as if, it was for me to see, for me to witness, to hear, to understand, to feel. I know I'm going so deep into this and I don't even know if I sound logical or I'm losing it but, I guess it's just have to be that way, you just have to feel it in an art that is this film, to make it one of your top favorites. I'm even afraid to look at the movie poster because the mixture of feelings, the ambivalence, all the feelings, is still there, and it brings a twinge to my heart. Man am I that fucked up already? I don't know. 

I am really glad I came across and witnessed this piece of art by Director Richard Linklater. I've never fallen in love with such good characters since (500) Days of Summer.