Why Are You Sending Me There?

"Why are you sending me to America, Lord?" My heart was unsettled by this question. "It is crucial for me to know your purpose for sending me there, Lord. What is it?"

A few Saturdays back during our small group meeting, we were exhorted by our leader that today's session would just be dedicated to us spending time with the Lord one on one, to have a  heart to heart talk with the Lord. At first I thought, spend time with God? Isn't that what I always do? So we were told to find a quiet place somewhere and meditate on the Lord and in his word. With our bibles on hand we did what we were told. I was eyeing that place near the stage but found another friend heading that way too so I politely gave way and headed to another direction.

I was looking around and found a vacant spot near the exit door to the terrace of our church. I positioned myself in such a way that I faced the glass door which has the view overlooking the city. I noticed a familiar view. This place had the exact same view I had when I received the news that I passed the board exams for nursing 4 years ago. Now, I am here once again, looking at the same view I gazed at that evening, just a floor lower now. As I sat there, I thought of God. I pondered on him like he was just beside me, like a friend. I thought, Wow God, this is it. Your faithfulness has carried me this far. I hold two licenses now, one was what you gave me four years ago which made me practice as nurse in the Philippines, and the other, to practice in the United States. Both licenses are wrought about by grace, both licenses carry testimonies of your goodness and unfailing provision. Four years ago I have found you faithful to give me that which I have prayed for so long, to be a nurse. Right here, in this very sanctuary, right where the Gospel also finally made sense to me and I received Christ as my Lord and Saviour. This was a fateful place indeed, to sit here now when I'm at the threshold of a new life waiting for me in America, with the man whom God has given me to love and cherish, and if He wills, to serve the Lord with him in ministry as a helpmate.

But is that all the reason why you're bringing me there? To follow the footsteps of typical of that of an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker)? That is, to work as a nurse, marry a godly man, have a family of our own, send money back to my homeland, retire, ..., die? The thought alarms me. No that cannot be it. I refuse to live my life like a standardised formula for moneymaking. The wordiness of that formula is a slap to 1 John 2:15-17. I refuse to simply conform.

Surely the Lord has greater purposes for me to coming to America. But What could be It?

My eyes were looking at the wonderful view of Cebu City at night, but my mind was adrift of to the heavens. I wanted to press on so much my heart inquires of the Lord for his purpose. I need to know it, I need to know his purpose, his divine will, so that I might not waste my life over some 'standardised formula' and how people will tell me how I should live my life.

As of this writing, I have not yet fully grasped his answer. I am confident he will tell me eventually, through whatever means he will use, for as long as he will be glorified in the process and in the answer, I will be appeased to wait upon it. Confident that he will prepare me for his answer, and equip me to carry those out.