Nicolo Immanuel's First Month

 From an anxious new mom

Our son celebrated his one month two days ago. It has been a month of sleepless nights and sleepy days, of patience being tested, emotions all over the place from postpartum blues, and how a single smile from my little one can alleviate all those bad moments of parenthood. The first month of motherhood has radically transformed the three of us. My husband learned to increase his patience, I learned to not be as selfish as I am, all of that as our little Nicolo is also bombarded with learnings in this new environment outside the womb. In all of that, I learned just how inadequate we are as parents, but God couldn't have mistaken to entrust us to be Nicolo's parents. He simply can't be wrong. This is all part of his great and unfathomable wisdom.

To quote and paraphrase a devotional I read:

The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.  (Psalm 121:8)

"I realized I wouldn't be able to protect our child as perfectly as I like it to be. But I discovered peace as I learned to turn to my only sure source of help -- God --  when I struggled with worry and fear. 

Our heavenly Father never takes His eyes off His children (Psalm 121:1-4). While we can't prevent trials, heartache, or loss, we can live with confident faith, relying on an ever-present Helper and Protector whi will always watch over our lives.

We may encounter days when we feel lost and helpless. We may also feel powerless when we can't shield loved ones. But we can trust that our all-knowing God never loses sight of us - His precious and beloved children." 

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 I will be returning to work next week - which means its gonna be the Night shift for me and Nico will be looking after Nicolo while I'm gone. This poses another anxiety trigger, and I would like to say that I trust my husband with our child, but I really don't trust him - much less myself. This drives me to my knees to God, our great Helper.

AW Tozer once said "How completely satisfying to turn our limitations to a God who has none." Though I don't agree on everything with Tozer's theology, what he said is spot on. Before Nicolo came to the world, me and my husband knew how much incapable we are to raise a child on our own, without the help of family members. But now that Nicolo has come, we didn't realize JUST how completely helpless and weak we are and just how much we need GOD to come through this parenting business all the while preserving our marriage.

Marriage and Parenting is a struggle but not one without sweet fruit. It has sanctified us all in its bittersweet yet wonderful God-ordained process. I can say how amazing God is in instituting marriage and family life to sanctify his saints to be more conformed to Christ.